What goodbyes are made of (Part 5)
Is it
raining where you are right now? It’s raining here. Quite heavily in fact. I am
at the end of the story but it feels like the story’s just getting started: “It
was a dark and stormy night.”
It’s during nights like these that my heart tends to break with ink spilling out from the cracks. I want to call you up and ask you how you’re doing. My room is filled with letters I have written but don’t know where to send. How very inconsiderate of you to leave me without a number or an address.
Hey, you wanna hear something funny? The other day, I thought I saw you going inside that coffee shop at the corner of our street. So, I followed you inside and tapped on your shoulder, hoping to surprise you. Turned out it wasn’t you. Sure he was tall and had dark messy hair like you. But I knew I made a mistake as soon as he turned around to look at me. His eyes were not the warm brown eyes I was looking for. They just looked very confused. What was I even thinking? Of course, it couldn’t have been you.
There’s more. I haven’t been myself lately.
Do you remember how I used to hate coffee? Well, now I drink it almost every day because the taste of coffee reminds me of you.
Oh and remember how you always get annoyed when I forget to turn off the bathroom lights? (“You are wasting precious energy resources!”) Since you’ve been gone, I haven’t forgotten it once. Are you happy now that I’m saving the planet like you’ve always wanted me to?
There are days when I’m too busy to cook and I eat cup noodles. Then, I feel guilty because you used to scold me lightly and point out it’s not “proper dinner”. But there are times when I wasn’t busy at all but I ate cup noodles anyways. I just wanted to see if you would somehow come to tell me off and cook me what you would call a “proper meal” like before. But you never show up any more.
Sometimes, I come across a funny picture or a joke on the internet that I’m sure would make you laugh out loud. Other times, it’s a song or a line in a book I’m reading. But every single time, I catch myself thinking “You’re gonna love this one!” only to realize that I can’t share it with you anymore.
It’s pretty funny right? I should be laughing but damn those tears blurring my vision.
They say that you’re not coming back.
I should believe them. After all, people usually don’t come back from the dead.
But you’ve always had a rebellious streak.
And you used to tell me, “You can do it. You gotta prove them wrong, baby.”
So, however improbable it may seem, I’m holding onto that tiny hope that for one last time, you’re gonna prove them wrong.
How’re you doing up there?
Is it raining?
Oh and one last thing before I say goodbye.
Save a spot in heaven for me, will you?
Sometimes, goodbyes are made of the same stuff forevers are made of.
It’s during nights like these that my heart tends to break with ink spilling out from the cracks. I want to call you up and ask you how you’re doing. My room is filled with letters I have written but don’t know where to send. How very inconsiderate of you to leave me without a number or an address.
Hey, you wanna hear something funny? The other day, I thought I saw you going inside that coffee shop at the corner of our street. So, I followed you inside and tapped on your shoulder, hoping to surprise you. Turned out it wasn’t you. Sure he was tall and had dark messy hair like you. But I knew I made a mistake as soon as he turned around to look at me. His eyes were not the warm brown eyes I was looking for. They just looked very confused. What was I even thinking? Of course, it couldn’t have been you.
There’s more. I haven’t been myself lately.
Do you remember how I used to hate coffee? Well, now I drink it almost every day because the taste of coffee reminds me of you.
Oh and remember how you always get annoyed when I forget to turn off the bathroom lights? (“You are wasting precious energy resources!”) Since you’ve been gone, I haven’t forgotten it once. Are you happy now that I’m saving the planet like you’ve always wanted me to?
There are days when I’m too busy to cook and I eat cup noodles. Then, I feel guilty because you used to scold me lightly and point out it’s not “proper dinner”. But there are times when I wasn’t busy at all but I ate cup noodles anyways. I just wanted to see if you would somehow come to tell me off and cook me what you would call a “proper meal” like before. But you never show up any more.
Sometimes, I come across a funny picture or a joke on the internet that I’m sure would make you laugh out loud. Other times, it’s a song or a line in a book I’m reading. But every single time, I catch myself thinking “You’re gonna love this one!” only to realize that I can’t share it with you anymore.
It’s pretty funny right? I should be laughing but damn those tears blurring my vision.
They say that you’re not coming back.
I should believe them. After all, people usually don’t come back from the dead.
But you’ve always had a rebellious streak.
And you used to tell me, “You can do it. You gotta prove them wrong, baby.”
So, however improbable it may seem, I’m holding onto that tiny hope that for one last time, you’re gonna prove them wrong.
How’re you doing up there?
Is it raining?
Oh and one last thing before I say goodbye.
Save a spot in heaven for me, will you?
Sometimes, goodbyes are made of the same stuff forevers are made of.
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