.... and I Will Be Flying On a Broomstick

            2014 is coming to an end. I don’t normally do a year-end review and reflect on how to be a better person. I welcome the new year by shoving certain memories and mistakes away where I can’t see them and leave it at that. But today is one of those days when life throws class cancellations unexpectedly in my face. I’m suddenly left with a lot of time to kill and I turned to my weapon of choice: words that do not make much sense. So, here goes. (1) Life will punch you in the face and knock you down. Don’t forget to get back up. Give Life a smile that is bloody with a few teeth missing. Ask Life, “Is that all you got?” Spit out the blood and say, “I’m ready for another round.” That’s how you play the game. (2) Sleep is the answer to many diseases: procrasticulosis, Writer’s Block syndrome, Type 2 Lazibetes and examania. (3) You can’t use the excuse “I’m bad at this” or “I suck at this” forever. If that’s the case, why aren’t you doing something to get better?

            The narrow dirt track that used to be my way back home from school. That feels like a lifetime away. I don’t remember much now. It’s like a jigsaw puzzle with lots of pieces missing. I remember laughter. Snatches of conversation. The sun beating down on the track. Bicycles. Green and white uniforms. Children running, leaving clouds of dust in their wake. Smell of horse dung in the air.             That narrow dirt track in a small town. Would it still remember the scruffy little kid whose footsteps were always lighter on her way back from school?             Another way back home. This time, a different home. I know that route by heart. After all, I took the same route for two years. I counted the number of steps it took to reach home. Sometimes, I studied the cracks in the pavements and came up with hidden patterns. Sometimes, I would look up and watch the clouds shifting in the evening sky. The way back home in that busy city was always inte

I. F. E. B. R. A. R….. No, that’s not it. F. E. B. U. R. A. R….. This doesn’t seem right. F. E. B. R. U. R. Y? It’s missing something. Right. An “A” that doesn’t know where it belongs. In primary school, she learns that life’s not fair. It’s really not, when you are born in a month with the hardest spelling. II. High school. Where the rich, the smart and the pretty ruled. The one with the shiny car who wears a different watch to school every day. The one who gets full marks in every exam, every freaking time. The one who everyone crushes on and the source of inspiration for teenage love poems. Money, brains or looks. If you had one of those, you had power. The kind of power that makes others look up to you in awe (or in some cases, a little bit of fear). It sucked because she had none of those. But then, she found books. And she learned that there’s a different kind of power. The kind that made life that much more colorful and interesting. The power of im

            In maths, “x” is the unknown number. Find “x”. Solve the equation for “x”. What is the value of “x”? The mysterious “x” that always evaded you. After high school, you thought your search for that elusive “x” was finally over. But then, you met him, the “X” of your life, and just like that, you are back to square one.             Where do you start? It is much easier for you to describe a scene, a place or a person you know well. But when it comes to him, it’s a different matter. The thing is, you know him like the back of your hand and the back of your head, which means you know him too well and too little at the same time. Sometimes he gets on your nerves. Sometimes he can be really endearing. Sometimes, you hate him. But most of the time, you love him. What is he to you? Is he your friend? He’s not just a friend. Is he your boyfriend? No. It’s complicated. To keep things simple, let’s just say he’s your “X”. Of the 26 letters in the English alphabet, you de

(1) People who are considerate and asks, "Are you okay?" not because they feel like they have to but because they truly care. (2) People who you can share comfortable silences with. (3) People who give you their full attention when you're talking. (4) People who can make your day with just a wave, a smile or a simple hi. Because you just know they are genuinely happy to see you, from the way their eyes twinkle, the way their faces light up or the way their lips curve upwards. (5) People who remember to check up on you. You may go without speaking to each other for long periods of time but they always ask how you're doing every once in a while. It's always a pleasant surprise to hear from them. (6) People who go and check out the songs you tell them you are loving at the moment. Coz sharing music is one of the ways you bare your soul to someone else. (7) People who keep their promises, whether big or small. (8) People who show that they car

In the beginning, there were “hello”s. Then, followed the many late-night conversations. Would you believe me if I tell you that I still replay those conversations inside my head like a broken tape. Or would you laugh and tell me I’m just being “sentimental” as usual? That’s not me missing you. I remember that day. Rain, crowds, cars, mud and umbrellas. The clouds were nervous in the dark sky and so was I. A movie and a shared popcorn. You let me eat the last of the popcorn. That was not a date. I lay down all my cards on the table and you, you had no intention of showing your cards to anyone. I slowly learned how to play the game by reading into your silences. But since the beginning, you always had the upper hand. I was the fool who did not know when to hold or fold while you were the master of the game who could play it with your eyes closed. That was not me falling for you. I never knew where I stood with you. That dance we were in. Always one step forward, tw

It was   a nice day to say goodbye. We sat together at a coffee shop under the clear blue sky. Crowds of people walked past without sparing us a single glance. Everyone was seemingly caught up in their own little worlds. There were certain things I wanted to say. Things like: “This is the last time we’re gonna see each other in a very long time.” “I’m going to miss you.” “I wish we had more time.” And there were certain questions I wanted to ask. Questions like: “How are you feeling right now?” “Will you miss me when I’m gone?” “Are you going to wait for me?” But that day, neither of us said any of those things. Instead, we talked about the weather and how nice it was that day. We watched the people walking by because it was less awkward than maintaining eye-contact with each other and having that conversation. Together, we wondered what it was that they were selling across the street like it was some sort of existential question we were so curious abo

            One time, I went to a zoo all alone.             It was in Tokyo.             I remember the date: 14 th of February.             The zoo was huge and it was like being lost at sea. There were endless waves of happy people, with matching smiles and love-struck eyes. I understood what being a boat without an anchor must be like. Floating yet drifting away. But it was kind of nice to explore the zoo by myself. I felt more connected to the animals.        Anyway, so, there I was, walking around the zoo and gawking at the animals. Suddenly, I locked eyes with this crane alone in his cage. He was staring at me skeptically. “Hey you! What cha looking at?” he seemed to say. He looked like one of those punk-rockers, the plumage on his head sticking out in all directions. The body was white but the lower part just above his legs and the tip of his tail were as black as the night sky. He was pretty badass. He narrowed his eyes and we had a silent staring contest for several

            Have you ever met the right person at the wrong time?             Or the wrong person at the right time?             That’s why they say timing is important.             He met the right person at the right place.             But the timing.             It was just wrong from the beginning.             They were like two lines that were travelling in opposite directions in the space-time continuum. Their lives just happened to intersect at a certain point along their journey. But the sad part was that there was only one such point of encounter. Later on, they would continue to move away from each other, growing further apart and never to meet again.             If you know that there’ll be no happy ending, would you still fall in love with someone?             He knew there would be no happy ending but he still fell in love with her.             He was brave.             He was a fool.             He was a brave fool.             The days they had togeth

            Airports.             Arrivals, transits and departures.             Isn’t that what life is all about?             Pause. Rewind. Go back to 2 years ago. I could see myself standing in front of the airport security check, dragging a luggage and a heavy heart. The first time I was going to be away from home for a long time. Starting a new life isn’t easy but leaving your old life is harder. People say it’s a new chapter in life. Yet, I wasn’t sure if I was ready to turn the page on the chapter I was at because my hands were trembling. Whether out of excitement or nervousness, I was not sure. It was a mixture of both I guess.             Months of preparation and packing. Documents to be signed, things to be bought, goodbyes to be said. Time passed in a whirlwind of activity and out of my control. In the end, it all came down to this point. The final goodbye. And it hit me like a freight train coming out of nowhere.             Once I passed the security ch

"I could see the little drops of rain splashing down into the puddles on the ground, creating bubbles that popped as soon as they formed. Curled yellow leaves glided down to land on the concrete pavement, only to be occasionally whipped up by the cold wind. I didn’t know that watching the rain could be so interesting. There were just so many beautiful things to see, hear, feel and appreciate. I don’t have to go to some exotic place to enjoy the beauty of Mother Nature. I am already surrounded by it. There is so much hidden beauty in our simple everyday life. We just need to realize that it’s been there for us all along, waiting to be discovered."     I wrote this 2 years ago and reading this now, I am living that moment all over again.  I think it is important to capture your thoughts and feelings at a particular moment.  Some people catch fireflies in little jars.  I prefer to catch memories by writing them down in my own words.

So... There was an earthquake here last night.. Well, technically, it was early in the morning around 1:40 am or sth.. It happened 30 minutes after I woke up from a late night nap.. The water bottle on the shelf started shaking and I could feel the tremors spreading through the building.. Nothing serious though.. It didn't last that long but it was scary.. I just stood there in the middle of the room wondering whether to duck under the table or run out of my room... Until the shaking ceased.. In retrospect, I realized something. I have a problem with making up my goddamn mind..

In the English alphabet, L is followed by M. She murdered the love she felt for him. She tried to strangle it with her bare arms. But over the years, it had grown quite strong. It lay on the floor retching. She reached for the gun and pulled the trigger. A bullet for the love she once held dear. It went silent. She saw the little spasms. Just to be sure, she fired two more shots. Finally free, she thought. Free of the love that brought her nothing but pain.

We are supposed to push our limits and uncover our hidden potential. However, we became so smart that we grew lazy. We used to rely on our memory to remember things. Now, we have our smart phones and tablets to do all the memorizing for us. We have grown so comfortable with the knowledge that the internet is there to help.We make less effort in the pursuit of knowledge. Nowadays, what we want is convenience and instant access. We do not want to wait. We are not asking what we can do. We are asking what a particular app or gadget can do.We rely more and more on the potential of the things created by other people. We do not devote time to increase our skills and knowledge. We devote our time and money on chasing after the latest inventions. What are we doing and where are we going?

Like most things in life, it was unexpected. It snowed with a fury that I have not witnessed in a while. I stopped walking in the middle of the road. Everything was silent and still. Except the thick snowflakes falling silently all around me. For a minute, I felt like I was the center around which the universe revolved. That night, with the wind howling against my window and the thoughts swirling around in my head, I realized something. We were just two people who found each other while lost at sea. And the truth was, we were not looking for someone to save us. We just needed someone to drown with.  And I think it's time we start saving ourselves.

It grew with each passing day Made of broken dreams, Wasted hearts and Plastic memories. “Can be recycled with hope” That’s what the sign said. Oh well, hope was something I could not afford. A matchstick flared up in the dark All it took was a flick of the hand.. I turned my back and walked away. And I never once looked back at the flames.

(1) When life gives you lemons, ask why it is giving you lemons in the first place. Remember, there’s always a motive. (2) Some "I love you"s come with an expiry date. And some come with a "terms and conditions apply". (3) When you are selling udon and wiping tables, you’ll probably wish you had lots of money and you didn’t have to do a part-time job. Distract yourself by thinking about which actress will play your younger-udon-making-self when they make a documentary of your inspiring life later on. (4) Read. Studies have shown that reading books can make your skin look young and smooth. Okay, I totally made that up. But seriously, don’t forget to pick up a book every now and then. (5) Remember the saying, "Nothing is impossible"? I don't believe it. Some things are impossible (like trying to touch your right elbow with your right hand or going to bed at 11 every night.) But do the best you can with what you have and you’ll be