.... and I Will Be Flying On a Broomstick

I love you like a snowstorm. Passionate and encompassing. A force of nature of reckon with, fierce and unapologetic.   I love you like the falling leaves. Silently and unassuming. Why must one be afraid of falling, as long as the autumn breeze promises to be gentle?   I love you like the blossoming flowers. Proudly and bravely. Let the world see that love never loses its colors, even when the sky above turns grey with April showers.   I love you like the falling raindrops. Soothing and unrelenting. Come listen to their rhythm on the tin roof above, and let us leave the weight of the world on the doorstep.

           The summer I turned 12, my mother took me to the pool for swimming lessons. On the third week, while I was kicking my legs and trying to stay afloat, my instructor picked me up and suddenly threw me into the middle of the pool. I swallowed a lungful of water and discovered for myself that fear indeed tasted bitter. That day, I told my mother I wasn’t going back to the pool. I was half-expecting her to march up to the instructor and blame him for trying to drown her daughter. But to my indignant cries of “I could’ve drowned!” my mother just smiled and said, “That’s how you learn to swim, sweetie.” The next day, she took me back to the swimming pool and I went back to kicking my legs in water.             Many years later, in the summers that followed, I came to realize that it was not only my instructor who liked to catch me unawares and throw me into the deep end. Life also had a habit of doing that. At times, when I am focusing on kicking my legs and trying to breathe abo

1. She turned around and looked at me with those big round eyes. There were loud cheers and music playing in the background. And as if she was letting me in on a well-kept secret, she whispered, “I’m nervous.” I reached for her small clammy hands and gave a reassuring squeeze. “You’re gonna be just fine. Don’t worry. Just do your best, OK?” It seemed to work. She smiled and nodded, “OK.” Not soon after, the MC was calling out her name. Later, when she finished playing the last note on the piano, she turned around and looked at me with those same big round eyes. They were sparkling. There were loud cheers and applause in the background. And as if it were a secret only she and I knew, I whispered, “See, you can do it.” She gave me a dazzling smile and hugged me so tight. It was a short moment. But that short moment made me think of several things. Words of encouragement plant seeds of confidence in fragile hearts. We all need someone who will believe i

            Magic of the first kind involves optical illusions, card tricks and white doves flying out of sleeves. Magic of the second kind deals with levitating spells, polyjuice potions and wizards flying around on broomsticks.             But did you know about magic of the third kind?             It’s in the nuances of the weather. You can feel it in the air as you cycle through familiar streets on a fine summer day. And maybe, you kind of get why happiness is associated with warm sunshine and blue skies. You can feel it as you stand at the bus-stop trying to catch rain-drops with your hand. And maybe, you kind of wonder why rainy days bring up past memories and leave a dull pain in your chest. You can feel it as you watch the first snowflakes fall from the night sky. And maybe, you kind of marvel at the way snowflakes never fail to make you giddy with joy and anticipation.               It’s in the way your heart seems to defy the law of gravity. Sometimes, it sinks with reg

You tell her she’s beautiful. She looks at you like you’ve suddenly grown two heads. Then, she gives a self-deprecating laugh followed by a “Don’t be silly.” You figure she must have missed what you said. So, you repeat the words again and tell her that you’re serious. This time, she scoffs and replies, “Seriously, you need to get your eyes checked.” It is quite frustrating when you tell her she’s beautiful and she refuses to believe you. She tries to cover up her mouth when she laughs. Her eyes, when she looks at you, are apologetic. She never stays long in front of  the mirror because she has only learned to see flaws and disappointments there. They say beauty is only skin deep. Only? It’s the skin she lives in. It’s deep enough to hold all her insecurities and doubts. But sometimes, it’s not deep enough to keep her self-confidence from bleeding out when words are thrown as jabs against her skin. You don’t know a lot of things in life. You don’t know why bad thing

I. 5 minutes.. 10 minutes.. 15 minutes.. 20 minutes.. It’s in the way you wait for a bus that’s running late. You wait and wait and wait at the bus stop. The seconds and minutes slip through your cold stiff fingers, melting into a puddle of disappointment at your feet. Sometimes, the bus never shows up. II. It’s in the way you say goodbye. You never say, “I will miss you so much.” At least not face to face. You don’t like to be emotionally vulnerable. So, you only slip that phrase into the little messages and letters that you write. And after years of practice with people you love, you have decided on the perfect phrase to part ways. “See you again.” It gives you both something to look forward to. III. “Maybe someday.” It’s in the way he says those two words. Like he thinks that saying it out loud would somehow make it come true. Like he’s trying to reassure you that there’s a “maybe someday”. Sometimes, you feel like he says those

(1) Advanced Procrastination 301             In this course, I can apply the procrastination skills I have accumulated over the last two years at APU. Since this is an advanced class, I also have to come up with new and innovative methods to procrastinate all the time. I am doing quite well and I have a feeling that I will get an A+ by the end of the course. (2) The Art of Appreciation             I really recommend this course to everyone. Some people might find this course めんどくさい since it has daily assignments where you have to express your appreciation to people around you. However, for a little bit of extra work, you will get a lot out of this course such as meaningful friendships and a positive attitude. (3) Research Methods for Self-Confidence             Why is everyone else around me so smart and I am not? What did I do wrong to deserve this disappointment and failure? Am I doing the right thing? Should I give up or just keep going? If you have these qu

#1 Location: Gathering co-ordinates… Please wait.. Your favorite part about travelling is that in-between space spanning across the origin and the destination. You tend to look forward to the journey rather than the destination. You would try to read a book when you’re in for a long ride but you always end up looking out through the window. On the other side of the glass screen are people you will never meet, roads you will never tread and places you will never visit. There, you find countless stories waiting to be unraveled. #2 Location: Tokyo Station A throbbing sea of people, weaving in, out and around each other like an intricate knitting pattern. You dare not lose sight of those few familiar faces. You fear that you would drown under the tide of strangers if you stop even for a second. You keep moving, the wheels of your luggage rattling behind. You are surrounded by so many signs, arrows, directions and yet, you are still scared of getting lost. A very old m

            Hello! Welcome welcome! Welcome to the “Dream Emporium” !             Are you looking for some dreams? Well look no further!! You’re in the right place!             I am the dream seller. How can I help you?             Oh you don’t know what kind of dream you’re searching for? No problem! We have all kinds of dreams here. Come, I will show you around and you can make up your mind later, all right?             Now let’s see, in this showcase, we have our biggest and grandest dreams. See how they sparkle? It takes a lot of time and effort to make one of these. I know you think the price is too high but the raw materials aren’t easy to come by, you see. Especially those three: passion, courage and perseverance. Sure they’re pricey. But you gotta admit, they look beautiful and amazing, eh?             Oh dear! Please be careful with those ones, will you? I’m sorry to say that they are not for sale. Those are the secret dreams. They have to be kept in thei

            Writers are not afraid to crack their hearts open and pour out the words. They will reach into the dark depths of their souls just to see if something worth writing might come up. (Most of the time though, they just stir up bits of useless memories that have settled down at the bottom.) They will swallow all the words they can’t say out loud. Then they will push their fingers down their throat and vomit the words on a piece of paper.             When a writer loves you, they will turn you into poetry. You will be their muse and their inspiration. They will write you letters that talk about nothing and everything. When you think they have forgotten about you, they will leave you long messages that always end with a sincere “I miss you.”             When a writer loves you, they will read you like their favorite book. They will know certain parts of you by heart and they will highlight all your laughter and smiles. They will read between the lines and they un

(1) “Do you have any brothers or sisters?” “Yes.” “How many?” “1.” “Ah only one!? Older or younger?” “Younger.” “Do you love your sister?” “No.” Their honesty is refreshing. (2) Kids will draw a purple banana or a fire-breathing airplane with 6 wheels. They will color outside the lines. They don’t care about being realistic or not. And rules are there for them to break. It’s been a long time since I sat down with a pair of crayons and let my imagination run wild on a sheet of paper. (3) “Thank you for the lovely meal.” “Can I have some water, please?” I realized: You can’t use “Alohamora” to open doors in the real world. But you can use “Please” and “Thank you” to open doors to people’s hearts. (4) “Today is fun.” “Lunch is yummy.” “I am happy.” “I will try harder.” Sometimes, easy and simple words are enough to express ourselves. The older we grow, the more complicated our sentences become. (5) Their dreams are big. “I want to be an astronaut.”

“Grandpa, you don’t have many photographs with Grandma, do you?” He smiled fondly at the little girl who reminds him so much of his late wife. “Ah, yes. We didn’t get many chances to take photographs. But I’ll tell you one thing. I have lots of memographs with her.” Confused, the little girl asked, “Memograph? What exactly is a memograph?” “Well, my dear, a memograph is....” Flashback             That day, they went to the beach.             “It’s all so beautiful!” She ran towards the waves like a child who was seeing the ocean for the first time.             “Yeah, isn’t it? Pity we don’t have a camera to capture all of this.”             At that, she chuckled lightly and said, “No, silly. You have the best camera in the world with you and you don’t even realize it.” Seeing his puzzled expression, she made her way towards him and covered his eyes with her hands.             “Hey, what’re you doing?”             “Shh.... I’m gonna show you how to use your camera.”

You. You taught me that courage doesn’t always roar. I have seen you stumble and fall on the bumps along the way. But you don’t complain. You don’t give up. You pick yourself up and just keep going. You are quiet in your suffering and unwavering in your determination. The world tends to overlook silent warriors like you but I just want to say this: To me, you are the bravest. You. Ah, where do I start with you? You came into my life suddenly and unexpectedly. Your stay was short but it’s never been quite the same since you were gone. You’re such a careless and messy person. You left all those memories lying around and I tend to trip over them sometimes. But I’ll forgive you for that because they are all wonderful memories. It’s been so long since we met but I hope you’re doing fine. And don’t worry. I’m doing fine, too. You. You are the one who never fail to make me smile. You notice the little things and always remember to ask if I’m okay. We are so different ye

Remember the fireworks that night? They lit up the whole sky and left a trail of memories burning in their wake. You know what I like most about fireworks? They don’t promise you forever. In my opinion, “forever” and “promise” should never be allowed in the same sentence. Because that combination is more lethal than a cup of poison. Once you drink those words in, all they leave is a sour taste of heartbreak mixed with disappointment. And trust me, no matter how hard you try, you’ll never get that taste out of your mouth. Remember what you said that night? You said nothing. But despite the loud cheers from the crowd And explosions in the night sky that were in tune with the music All I could hear were two hearts beating erratically and out of sync Like a pair of ships lost at sea sending out an SOS but neither getting the message across. Thank you for saying nothing because it was a perfect night and we did not need to complicate it with words. After all, I knew you kne

(1) Have you ever looked into someone’s eyes and see the exact moment they light up with so much happiness and love? No, you don’t have to fall in love or be in love to witness this phenomenon. Just sell ice-cream. It’s less messy than falling in love. Granted that most of the time, they’re looking at the ice-cream in your hands and not at you. But still… Selling ice-cream is very fulfilling. You make people happy. (2) When I go to my baito place, I have to climb a long wooden stairs. I call it “the stairway to heaven”. At first, those stairs looked so daunting and I always had to stop midway to catch my breath. But later, I figured out various ways to cope with it and improve my stamina. Sometimes, I imagine a wild boar is chasing me up the steps and that I have to run up the stairs in order to save my life. Sometimes, I would tell myself that if I make it to the top without stopping halfway, the blue sky would crack open on the last step and take me to an alternate un

            Is it raining where you are right now? It’s raining here. Quite heavily in fact. I am at the end of the story but it feels like the story’s just getting started: “It was a dark and stormy night.”             It’s during nights like these that my heart tends to break with ink spilling out from the cracks. I want to call you up and ask you how you’re doing. My room is filled with letters I have written but don’t know where to send. How very inconsiderate of you to leave me without a number or an address.             Hey, you wanna hear something funny? The other day, I thought I saw you going inside that coffee shop at the corner of our street. So, I followed you inside and tapped on your shoulder, hoping to surprise you. Turned out it wasn’t you. Sure he was tall and had dark messy hair like you. But I knew I made a mistake as soon as he turned around to look at me. His eyes were not the warm brown eyes I was looking for. They just looked very confused. What was I even th